Day in Day out....Oh my, its Friday, June 17, 2005 already

Good Evening Sire/Madame, Can I Interest You With ...........

It was a straight 9 hours of selling.

"Hallo, would you care to listen to something GREAT?"

"Good afternoon Sire, I am going to introduce you to a new lifestyle."

"Going shopping? Then you will need this."

All these standard opening lines crap all aimed to STOP the potential customer, GET their ATTENTION and ultimately LEAD them to sign the thing.

Yep, the THING is an ABN AMRO personal or platinum credit card.

"The ABN AMRO personal master card HAS $600 dollars worth of freebies once you sign up for it. Not to mention the various discounts and perks you get to enjoy once you own the card. It is more than a card, its a lifestyle. You get special SPA treatments, dine in top-notch restaurants, enjoy special rates at golf courses and country clubs. This is life, your life.

For the first three years, the annual fee is waived. Furthermore, the sup card is also free for you. And if you sign up NOW, you get to have a SURE WIN lucky dip.

What are you waiting for?

Can I have your IC?"

Sounds nice right? Lifestyle.....crap.....more than just a card....super crap.....

I learnt these during my stint with insurance. I learnt that we cannot sell a product as a product, we must packaged it with other more intangible stuff. THE MAIN IDEA IS THAT NOT TO LET THE CUSTOMER START TO COMPARE PRICES and OTHER TANGIBLE THINGS LA.

**************************IMAGINE*******************************

Potential Customer: Aiyo, DBS also have the same thing. The rates hor, I think DBS can offer better. The credit-line longer.

POOR ME: Actually, in this market, the products are all similar. It is hard to compare everything and to the last detail. ABN AMRO might have an edge pertaining to our low interest, DBS might be the market leader for perks, OCBC might give the shiniest card, OUB might have the chioest salesgirl. There is no end to comparison.

Most importantly is what ABN AMRO stands for. The elegance, the class and of course, the international flaire. Not only, you get to enjoy perks within Singapore, fly to Holland, you similarly can get the same kind of posh treatment. It is a lifestyle, not a card.

Potential Customer: Lifestyle huh......hmmmm......my life very pig sty one leh. You sure I get this card, I become very Lifestyle?

POOR ME: Of course, it is more than a card. It is Lifestyle. If you Sign up now, it is more than a Lifestyle, it is YOU.

Potential Customer: Wooah....sibei cheem leh. I like it man. No Lifestyle...but ME ah. On ah. Steady bom bi bi......sign where?

**********************end of imagination*************************************


IT is very hard to stop a potential customer. They come, they go, they rush, they ignore, they run, they hide, they lost, they confused........Simply put, they are NOT interested in whatever you are going to sell.

The unfortunate ones that got STOPPED. Usually they are the nicer people. They are so nice that they cannot bear to see me CRINGE IN AGONY if they ignore me. Others just do not want me to swear silently at them.

Hence the second phase begins. The enticement or the BIG CON GAME. This is the time ALL the words like FREE, WAIVER, LIFESTYLE, MASTER CARD, FREE, FREE, LUCKY DIP, WAIVER, FREE, DISCOUNTS, DISCOUNTS, DISCOUNTS flow like magic.


*****************IMAGINE**********************************

POOR ME: Freebies, freebies, freebies, waiver, waiver, free, discounts, perks, complimentary SPA treatment......So I will like to emphasis that this is .......LIFESTYLE, GLAM, POSH......So SIre, if you would like to stop for a moment and.....FREE...DISCOUNTS...WAIVER......

Potential Customer: Really? Freebies, wavier? Let me see.

*****************end of imagination**************************


If only this is one job that can allow me to easily repeat that few words only. I don't mind going on saying "Freebies, Waiver.....". I don't have to kill my brain cells to POLISH my words and GLAMMIFIED my sentences. It is a chore.

THIS JOB DOESN'T.

Constantly I have to keep a look out for potential customer and to remember what exactly an opening I want.

For one....I never TALK to people who looked younger than 25 years old....That is not a discrimination....I JUST DO NOT WISH TO WASTE MY TIME.....Therefore I can do away with words like "Yozzz", "How's life", "Ho shay boh?"......

The next category is DINK...double income, no kids.

They are EASY PREYS for master cards. I get most of my sales from them. Usually they can be spotted wandering around WITHOUT KIDS and usually hold their hands TIGHTLY and they are in their THIRTIES.

For them, it is easy on my part. I just approach them and say, "Good evening Sire and Madame, right now there is a launching of the ABN AMRO card. Would you care to listen more about it."

Surprise surprise, the answers were usually yes. Furthermore, they will be the one who take control of the conversation. LET THEM...they just want to show that they are educated and got high income (though hardly quality for the PLATIUM one) and in the end, if they are HAPPY that they know MUCH MORE than me, they will proceed to sign up for the card. Seriously, I let them be, no hard feelings IF...I say IF....they sign up for the card. For the others, let just say that I asked for their parents' healths. Ok, I am mean.....

The best category.....the RICH TAI TAIs

I LOVE THEM.....BETTER STILL IF THEY WERE TO BE MY SUGARMUMMIES. They are EVER so willing to sign up for the cards....even the PLATINUM one. Few questions raised. The procedures were done CHOP CHOP.

I think one of the TAI TAIs needed a toothpick and she can't find one.....thereby signing the card to use a toothpick. Another Tai Tai wanted to use the card to play Chor Tai Dee, but when she find out that a credit card is different from a poker card, she nevertheless sign it too...."You can never have too many cards".

The singles....SORRY...but usually the ones I approached were female. There is NO DISCRIMINATION HERE...I HATE MCP* ideology....

Usually, they are with their girlfriend......not that KIND of girlfriend...just best friends/ colleagues....it is just another lingual that I picked up....."Can you please wait for my girlfriend, she is on her way here"....."Hey I am meeting my girlfriend later, I'll come back".

They are in their late 20s and early 30s. They HAVE the spending power. Naturally they will want to have a credit card and most of them just do not have one yet. This is when the "Lifestyle crap" comes in, to titillate them, make them feel good, feel OUT OF THIS WORLD.....

And one more poor soul conned.

High Networth Executives

"Tread carefully, one has to."

There is no room for "Lifestyle bullshit". Give them facts, facts and more facts. You must know your stuff better than you know your name. They will question to the last bit..."So, where is the card maunfactured? If it is in China, which province? Which county and which factory? Is the factory a SOE? What machines the factory uses? It is 4-color Print-type or a 16-color Print-type (hey my dad deals with all these printing stuff)?......"

Confidence is all you need. To answer truthfully and if you don't know, just say so. Do not SMOKE your way through. These Executives have enough doggies to smoke them everyday, they do not need to inhale your second-hand smoke. Truthfulness will earn you your reward, HAVING THEM TO SIGN THE PLATINUM CARD...........

-----------These are the nicest people that ever came in my life, I thank you all-----

NOW FOR THOSE....FOR THE REST.....THE REST THAT WILL FEEL MY WRATH.....

1. The Oblivious- They will not acknowledge the presence of any other life-forms. They exist everywhere. Refer to my last posts on the OBLIVIOUS. They will not respond to anything I say. Never a yes, never a no....This group of people are the time wasters....

2. The Agonies- They will melt, they will be crushed, they will simply disintegrate if anyone else tries to approach them. They usually will notice GOOD PEOPLE like ME, trying to greet them A GOOD AFTERNOON/EVENING, at a distance. I will also zoom in on them. They will try to ignore the stare and start to find other routes of escape. If all fails, they will rush past ME frantically. Literally, RUSH PAST......

3. The Angries- They have the DARK energy within them. The urge to rant at people. Their favourite past-time is to stare in the mirror and SCOLD THEMSELVES. I usually will avoid such people. It is easy to notice them. They have this ANGER face.....characterised by a TIGHT AND PERPUTUAL FROWN, an unsmiling lip and usually they are the uncles and aunties. They will stare coldly into my eyes, as if issuing a challenge....."APPROACH ME YOU LOUSY THING AND I WILL ASK FOR YOUR ANCESTORS' HEALTH...."

-------------These are the more extreme ones--------------------------

I understand that not everyone can afford for a credit card and that not everyone wants one. These people just politely decline.


I am tired liao.......very tired......sianzzz to max....

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