Very difficult issit?

The Human Resources Department
10 Collyer Quay, #30-00,
Sinagapore 045995

Yo!,

RE: Demand for a JOB FROM YOUR COMPANY

Actually I am lazy, boring and uncreative. Seriously, I do not know why you want to recruit me. I send this resume and cover letter is because I cannot stand other people landing a job, while I don't.

My results suck. I don't have any CCA records. I don't have any achievement. I do know how to whine, slack, steal from office and pretty much rot my life away. Rest assure, I won't be doing anything. I do not need any supervision. I do need someone to breath down my neck.

I have simple requests. First, my expected Monthly Salary is S$5,000 for the first year, and pretty much increase by 20% every year with a bonus of half a year. I plan to arrive at work at around 2pm and expect to leave the office at 5pm sharp. I am very particular about timings. I need to do my work (if I do indeed) in a big office room, prefably facing south towards Marina Bay and on the 40th floor. I can't concentrate in nosiy and clustered environment.

Please feel free to contact me. And give me the job. Thanks but no thanks.

Your unsincerely,
Kenneth.